The Ultimate Test of Tolerance

tolerance in marriage

I am fortunate to be married to someone who shares many of my values and passions. For the things we disagree with, though, I have to find a way to not control her and to let her be her own person. This is the ultimate expression of tolerance: she is welcome in my personal space, influences my future, and is free to “ruin” it with her own dreams and values.

The key to making it work is giving her freedom and working hard to connect so values and goals can be shared as much as possible. It won’t always work, but if it does, then it is the start of a lifestyle of this, which opens up so many wonderful relationships in all areas of life.

We like to think of tolerance as something that happens with people who are drastically different than us. With people from other political parties, religions, or backgrounds. I’ve found over the years that tolerance really begins with those who are closest to me: do I try to control them or do I let them freely be themselves? That’s ultimately the question that is asked of all of our relationships. The less we control, the better the relationships are.

Right Fit

goals, investing, investments, mark cuban

My wife and I spent the early part of this week looking into a business opportunity that would help us meet some specific goals over the next few years. We were excited, talking late into the night about the various details of this business opportunity.

Then halfway into our trip we realized it wasn’t going to work. [Read more…]

Assumption of Agreement

political tolerance

We were having a great time with our new friends from California on a gogi-berry farm in New Mexico. The family loves nature like us, and we had great conversations about biking, hiking, living simply, and cooking naturally. At one point the lady told us that they would love to have us back next summer and that they were pleasantly surprised to find out that there were liberals from Dallas.

I was eating dinner at my church on a Wednesday night with other members, and one member starts talking about how evil Wendy Davis is and how Obama has ruined everything. I sat there quietly as the whole table seemed to being railing on how dumb the Democrats were and how the world was going to end because of them.

What’s the common thread? [Read more…]

A Litmus Test for Tolerance


About ten years ago, my wife and I were deeply involved in a church that claimed to be evangelistic and desperately wanted to lead people to God. We devoted ourselves to The Cause and poured hours and hours of our labor into its programs. At one point (I kid you not), I was doing the music on Sunday mornings, keeping track of our procedure for keeping and maintaining new members, leading youth group on Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights, attending another small group Bible study, and taking a graduate level Seminary class. All of this while having a full time job.

Here’s the problem, looking back on it: I wasn’t growing. Why not? [Read more…]

A Proper Understanding of the Opposition


Here’s a fun exercise: first read the first five headlines on Next read the first five headlines on See any patterns?

On DailyKOS you get the feeling that Republicans are heartless idiots with half a brain, and that our world’s problems would be solved if they would just get out of the way of progress.

On Lucianne, you get the feeling that Democrats are heartless idiots with half a brain and that our world’s problems would be solved if they would just get out of the way of progress.

If you’re the typical American, you probably relate to one site and not to another.

I’ve only recently recognized how destructive this is to my life, my thinking, and my relationships. [Read more…]

A European Education

American Schools

Yesterday I was at lunch with a Czech friend of mine talking about education. His daughter just started the first grade and this week they had their initial teacher conferences. The teacher informed him and his wife that the daughter had a hard time focusing.

“Of course she can’t focus; they have her there from 8AM to 3PM. I wouldn’t focus at that age either!” [Read more…]

Focus with the Amazon Kindle

amazon kindle

I’ve been writing about focusing on what matters lately by making good choices with how and what you consume. Some things are just a complete waste of time like the local news. Other things have a good alternative, like reading the Economist instead of going to news sites.

As I wrote last time, though, in this mobile world that isn’t enough. You have to make sure your smartphone is serving you and not enslaving you. And beyond that I’m convinced to lead a life of growth and meaning you need to read. Probably more than you are right now.

So how do we do that? The solutions that come to mind immediately are: on our smartphone, a paper book, or a tablet. I’m going to talk about a better way to read books: through the Amazon Kindle. [Read more…]

Sanitize Your Smartphone with Republic Wireless

iphone vs android

The invention of the iPhone will probably be one of the key technological events of my lifetime. It changed the game from quirky Blackberry kind-of-phones, to a new experience that delivered a whole set of new capabilities in people’s lives. It has changed the businesses I serve and will continue to change our lives for years to come.

Once I finally got an iPhone it took over my life. This coincided with the birth of my children, so I spent a lot of time on the iPhone while they were at the park, or sleeping, or messing around at our house.

Then I realized that I will never get those moments back. [Read more…]

Facing the Ultimate Distraction and Often Losing

facebook is a waste of time

It was around 2008, and I heard about this new way to interact with people in your world. We were at a family gathering, and I started talking about this great application I had found called Facebook. My sister-in-law was delighted that we had finally caught up with her and that we were all going to join in this wonderful new thing. [Read more…]